Is This How McCain Makes Choices?

Yo, peeps. This Sarah Palin thing just keeps getting more and more twisted. On the real, I am thinking that the Mummy actually drew Palin's name out of a red and white striped top hat filled with five real names and one joke name to keep it interesting. Guess which one McCain drew?

Greg Sargent, of TalkingPointsMemo has a nice rundown of all the shit McCain has walked into 'cause he didn't vet 'ol girl. Please read it if you have a moment.

You can also keep an eye on Huffington Post's big Sarah Palin page. They keep it updated with the latest 411 on Sexy Sarah. The latest being that she belongs to a fringe Alaskan independence group that would like to take leave of the States.

Scrubbing Sarah Palin

I am not certain how much vetting of Gov. Palin took place before the announcement that the Mummy selected her as his running mate, but it seems like a lot of clean up is taking place now. I wrote earlier about how a press release from her office praising my energy plan has vanished from her site. Now comes word that a video is missing that was previously there.

This one.

Yes, that is disgraced and indicted lawmaker Sen. Ted Stevens endorsing Sexy Sarah. 

There is also the Troopergate issue hanging over her head back home. Related to this she hired a know sexual harasser to replace the guy she fired for not doing her wet work. I am not going to even get into the question of whether her last child is actually hers or that of her 16 year old daughter as is being whispered on the inter-tubes. And she, or someone in her family, allegedly scrubbed her wikipedia entry to make it sound more positive and palatable to the wingnuts.

Republicans should be more than a little nervous about this pick blowing up in their faces.

Welcome to the bigs, Sarah Palin.

Making a Killing in Denver

You might have heard that some white supremacists outside of Denver were plotting to kill The One. 

Knowing this, I am reminded of this exchange in the movie V for Vendetta:

Creedy: Die! Die! Why won't you die?... Why won't you die?
V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.

Keep that in mind, nutjobs and halfwits. Ideas are bulletproof.

O, Out.

Logic Takes a Holiday from Denver

O enjoys a little mirth. He laughs. He sometimes chuckles. But this... oh my, this makes O guffaw.

This madhatter is off the fucking chain! Even Chris Matthews was about to punch this scary cross-dresser in the forehead. I love the look he gives her when she first starts spouting her Muslim nonsense. And the 'cleaning out his ears' retort? Real mature, scarecrow.

Does This Say More About McCain Than Me?

I might have to get a restraining order against the Mummy 'cause this childish muthafucker is obsessed with O. This is completely off the fucking chain weird. 

I don't even know how to respond to that level of craziness. Wow. I'm speechless.

Obama: The Anti-Christ?

When I am between gigs on the road I pull out my iPhone and surf the net looking for stories about me. Since I am the most interesting thing happening in the United States right now who can blame me, right?

Anyhoo, I am drinking a Tab and I come across a site that is simply breathtaking in its insanity. By the way, just so you know, Tab doesn't lose any of its fizz when passed through your nose. Yep, still fizzy... and uncomfortable.

The site is called BarackObamaAntiChrist, and purports to pull back the curtain on my evil, secret, devilish plans for all of humanity. What it does accomplish is pulling back the curtain on what is clearly the deeply bizarre religious paranoia of the writer.

"Barack Obama may be the Antichrist, he has risen up out of no where, he mesmerizes crowds, people are gathering in huge numbers, he is likely becoming the next President of the United States. Do not look only to what I say, but look to your Bibles, to passages in John, Daniel, and Revelations."

Wow. That's it? People like me? They think I might bring honor and rule of law back to the country after 7 years of totalitarian fuck-up? Well, according to the author, its all that stuff and some fairly liberal application of passages from a book translated from two or three ancient languages that also indicates it's fine to own slaves, take possession of the wife of your dead brother, and stone people who work on the sabbath. A rather fine guide for civilized behavior, if you ask me.

Another reason that stands out as evidence O is the Anti-Christ is that I once reached into my pants pocket at a campaign stop and pulled out a pocket full of good luck charms and shit. Among them was a golden Hindu monkey charm. A fucking monkey charm. Hindu. Dude, I didn't even know whose pants those were. I sometimes have no idea what I am wearing or where it came from. They seemed to fit me.

I am almost certain that the level of crazy exhibited by the author of this site can only be attained by sitting for hours in your own feces and smacking your genitalia with a ping-pong paddle while masturbating into a rubber glove to reruns of Match Game on the Game Show Network. It also helps if you were breast fed until your senior year of high school. I just hope this person is under the direct care of a doctor. Any fucking doctor.

During this campaign I have found that people will exercise astonishing mental gymnastics to justify their own racist or partisan political/religious viewpoints. You don't have to like O, there are plenty of valid reasons not to, but it is pathetic to be so small that you need others to feel the same way to validate your position.