Debate Analysis

So, the TeeVee pundits thought it was even. The American people, those with brains, eyes and votes, think I won. Hmm. I wonder who's right?

40% of uncommitted voters who watched the debate tonight thought Barack Obama was the winner. 22% thought John McCain won. 38% saw it as a draw.

68% of these voters think Obama would make the right decision about the economy. 41% think McCain would.

49% of these voters think Obama would make the right decisions about Iraq. 55% think McCain would.

Yikes. Pssst... John.... looks like you're fucked. This was your homefield subject and you got bum-rushed. All day long, old man. All day long.

Prepping for the Debate

Yo, young ones, I am busy prepping for the debate with the Mummy, or as I like to call it The Big Smackdown. Am I confident? Hell, I've aready ordered a dozen T-Shirts that say "Quit Shouting, Old Man. That Thing in Front of You is Called a Microphone" for my staff of Obamanaughts.

I'm going to rip Mr. McAngry Pants a new asshole.

Meet John "House Keys" McCain, Average American

This is like manna from heaven...

Barack's Holiday Adventure

Greetings, O Nation.  Well, after a well-deserved holiday I am about to climb back in the game. I feel relaxed, refreshed and focused on opening a huge can of whoop-ass on the Mummy.

First official bit on the schedule is Saturday's jawboning with Pastor Rick Warren. That'll be nice. I get to talk to some fish folks who ain't hate'n on a brutha. 

By the way, did you know that the Christian PAC, Matthew 25 Network, has just released its first ad on my behalf? Hella cool. It will play during the chat with R-Dub at his Saddleback Church.

You can check it out below.

Dawgs... there is nowhere for the Old Party to hide this election cycle. I am coming at them from everywhere.

Hot Chicks Dig Obama

I know I'm still on holiday but... the LA Times has an article about the Mummy's latest attempt at making himself a completely irrelevant laughing stock. The stunt in question is yet another ad about my celebrity status. This one is called Hot Chicks Dig Obama. LOL Really. I'm not making this up, yo.

From the Times:

Most controversially, the spot features one young woman complimenting Obama's "aura," and a second young woman singling out his "very soft eyes" for praise. And then there's a fellow saying of the 47-year-old U.S. senator and father of two who defied long odds to emerge as one of the two main contenders for the most powerful office in the world: "Hot chicks dig Obama."

I love this shit. Honestly. We are now firmly ensconced in a bizarro world of school-boy penis envy by a seriously disturbed old man running for the most powerful office on earth. Someone who cares about your Very Serious Problems so much that he spends his time and your money on joke and humor ads. Isn't there a recession going on somewhere? I forget.

Dude, this shit is off the hook! Next will come stinging insults about how my penis is only 10" long, or that my IQ is only 160, or that I only have two Grammy awards. Ouch! ROTFL!! How ridiculous can this tiny little man get? He is now like the guy who told a joke that everyone laughed at and now he can't stop himself from retelling the same joke hoping that people still like him enough to laugh again... and again... and again. Crazy, right?

Envy much? Much too much.

Suck it Crusty the Clown

I am still chill'n in Hawai'i and loving hanging with the family but I got to thinking about this whole "Obama is a celebrity" shit that has been going down for a bit now. The liberal press has been eating this spoon-fed bullshit for a bit now but I know you folks ain't feel'n this shit.

So I pick up my iPhone and I am checking out Internet Movie Database (IMDB) and see this bullshit. And I'm the celebrity?

So I had Axe make this...



Suck on this John Sidney McCain III, you lying fart.

Attack of the Attack Attacks

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but they are not entitled to their own facts." - Daniel Patrick Moynihan



Dirty, stinking liars. Remember when The Mummy was a principled man?

Pre-Vacation Fun

O digs this image, hard. It makes me giggle when I'm sad.

Please enjoy, young ones.

Good and Pawlenty

Ouch. As reported by Frederic Frommer at Huffpost:

Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, often mentioned as a possible running mate for Republican presidential candidate John McCain, said Wednesday GOP candidates would do well to adopt a positive tone like that of McCain's Democratic rival Barack Obama.

"Say what you will about Barack Obama," the Minnesota Republican told a conservative group, "people gravitate when you have something positive to say." He added that McCain has been positive as well.

"People want to follow hopeful, optimistic, civil, decent leaders," Pawlenty said in a speech to GOPAC, which helps recruit Republican candidates. "They don't want to follow some negative, scornful person."

Negative and scornful? Pretty much just like McCain, in his desperation to be Prezo, has allowed his pathetic self to become. Now there's some straight talk for your ass.

Word, Tim Pawlenty. We hardly got to know you.

Does This Say More About McCain Than Me?

I might have to get a restraining order against the Mummy 'cause this childish muthafucker is obsessed with O. This is completely off the fucking chain weird. 

I don't even know how to respond to that level of craziness. Wow. I'm speechless.

1968 All Over Again

Just between you and me... I don't think John McCain is a racist... he is just hoping you are. There, I said it. Fuck him.

For Drunks, Racists, Illiterates and Other Republicans

Empty suit? Really? O looks hella fine in a good suit. I mean, I know I am power player thin... but empty? And my post-racial skin tone goes well with as many of the earth tone hues as with the traditional power suit dark varieties.

I am sick and tired of hearing the meme from the white-wing of the Old Party that I am an empty suit. Fuck you, you jealous half-wits!

I graduated near the top of my class at Harvard. Have you heard of that little school? A couple of notches above DeVry, I hear. Anypop, I am fucking smart. No. Scratch that. I am fucking brilliant. I have accomplished much in my amazingly interesting and captivating life and I am starting to get a little pissy that you dirty fucks are hating on O like this.

In case you are truly interested in checking that bullshit at the door here is a list of things I've accomplished in just a couple of years in the Senate. Now... suck that bitches.

O, out!

Is McCain Stupid? Is That Rhetorical?

Yes. Fucking yes. A million times, yes.

I certainly think he's a foul-mouthed, ill-tempered, crass jackass. And a writer from the WSJ does too. I don't know this cat's game but this was a thoughtful, unbiased piece from a media source that one should know consistently harshes O's vibe.

The money shot:

Is John McCain losing it?

On Sunday, he said on national television that to solve Social Security "everything's on the table," which of course means raising payroll taxes. On July 7 in Denver he said: "Senator Obama will raise your taxes. I won't."

This isn't a flip-flop. It's a sex-change operation

Sweet ones, when I read shit like this and I realize that with each word I am getting that much closer to the Oval Joint... it makes my nipples hard. I have to admit it. Sorry.

McCain's Commander In Chief Test

Oh, sweet Jesus! I literally shat myself watching this. Man, oh man. This goon is making this easier than snorting a line of coke from between your hot, young high school drama teacher's supple breasts while backstage during your senior year production of Hair... I've heard.

The Mummy Flips... Again.

Baby Mama Drama

Here's some straight talk for you shortyz considering supporting the Mummy 'cause you think the Dems were hard on Hillary.



So, in the paternalistic and sexist Mummy's worldview a man being functionally able to make babies is more important than a woman deciding when they might want to have a baby.

Asshats.

The Press Sucks McCain Off When You Aren't Looking

The so-called liberal press has still got its lips firmly attached to the Mummy's sweaty, wrinkled sack (an image that will keep O wide awake tonight) and are still busy pushing the Old Party narrative that I am "moving to the center." His campaign doesn't need an ad budget with these punk ass lapdogs carrying his water for him.

Okay, O will try to 'splain this one more time. I am not tracking to the middle. I did not say I was changing my position on bringing the troops home. I have always said that I would listen to military leaders on how to bring them home... but the buck stop in the Oval Joint. They start coming come home when I take office. Period.

I also did not say I would filibuster the FISA bill. What I said was this, as reported by my spox:

"To be clear: Barack will support a filibuster of any bill that includes retroactive immunity for telecommunications companies."

Did you hear about a filibuster being successfully mounted? No, you didn't. There wasn't the votes for it. So I voted to strip telecom immunity from the bill three times, and when that failed I voted for an imperfect bill that does give Dum W what he wants. This is not a flip-flop. It is pragmatism.

"Given the choice between voting for an improved yet imperfect bill, and losing important surveillance tools, Senator Obama chose to support"

Shit, folks, it isn't like I can veto the bill. I ain't the Prezo yet. Pump your brakes and get a grip. In a few months all of these expanded powers that Dum W and Dick Vader have carved out for themselves will be in far saner hands. Right now, I just don't need your shit.

So please stop all of this "Obama is turning his back on the left and tacking to the center" bullshit. You would know that if you hadn't first bought into the narrative that I was the most liberal senator in the Senate. Is it just a coincidence that the Sen. Kerry was also the most liberal senator when he was running too? Hmm.

If you look at Progressive scorecards I end up closer to the middle than most people think, which is why I stated that anyone who thinks I am moving to the center hasn't been paying attention. I am liberal on some issues (most) and far more moderate on others. You can see it yourself.

Now, go out and educate a so-called journalist. First, though, you'll need to pry their faces out of the Mummy's moist, stinky jockstrap.

O, out.

Shock and Awe

At last I can confirm that I will be giving my convention acceptance speech at Invesco Field in Denver. This has been long in planning, young ones. I am glad I can share this thrilling news with you now.

Imagine the difference people will see (and the message it sends) when they sleep through the Mummy giving his speech in front of 20,000 old white people in a Minnesota arena that will look a lot like the old man staring out blankly at a still and quiet snow covering, contrasted with experiencing O's oratorical brilliance in front of a throbbing, swaying, electric sea of diversity some 76,000 folks strong. Oh, joy!

The fact that O's speech will take place on the 45th anniversary of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech is hardly a coincidence. O is going to rock this shit.

Something else for the Old Party to fret about.

Doesn't Film Suck?

Pssst... Obamabots, pass this link around to friends and family.

John McCain's YouTube Problem, by Robert Greenwald's BraveNew Films



You can also shoot your peeps a link from the site, The Real John McCain.

Feel free to embed these bomb-ass little jewels everywhere. That's how we can get our message past the so-called liberal media to the people of this great nation. Make it viral, baby.

The revolution will be streamed.

Attacks from Everywhere

You see, Obama Nation, this is why I opted out of public financing system.

And I love that the Old Party ends the commercial with the awful, stinging, dreadful, accusation that I vote 97% of the time with the party that most Americans trust on just about every issue facing the country this cycle. LOL! I'll take that.

Inept assclowns. One has to wonder if they are trying to lose in November.