Nervous Wreck

Ya'll know that I'm a complete geek, right? I got it bad with Apple. You can see from the image that, yes, I sport an iPhone (I like to call it the OPhone). All the real playas have copped one. You just can't be a Big G without the OPhone. Fuck buttons. That's old skool.

Anypop, Apple's WWDC takes place today and I am freaking. I really want a 3G OPhone. Really want one. Really. The one I sport now is cool and all but I can't watch Will.I.Am's amazingly appropriate and unbiased "Yes We Can" over Edge. And my speeches hesitate and stop and start and shit, making me look like the Mummy on his best day.

Jobs hasn't returned my calls either, which kinda pisses me off. I just want to be the first to get one, man. You know, before the truly uncool masses start showing up at bowling alleys with them. I might have to slap his vegan ass.

Sigh! O, out.