9.27.2008

Debate Analysis

So, the TeeVee pundits thought it was even. The American people, those with brains, eyes and votes, think I won. Hmm. I wonder who's right?
40% of uncommitted voters who watched the debate tonight thought Barack Obama was the winner. 22% thought John McCain won. 38% saw it as a draw.

68% of these voters think Obama would make the right decision
about the economy. 41% think McCain would.

49% of these voters think Obama would make the right decisions about Iraq. 55% think McCain would.

Yikes. Pssst... John.... looks like you're fucked. This was your homefield subject and you got bum-rushed. All day long, old man. All day long.

The Big Smackdown: First Debate

Spanked that ass... spanked that ass... SPANKED THAT ASS.

9.22.2008

Prepping for the Debate

Yo, young ones, I am busy prepping for the debate with the Mummy, or as I like to call it The Big Smackdown. Am I confident? Hell, I've aready ordered a dozen T-Shirts that say "Quit Shouting, Old Man. That Thing in Front of You is Called a Microphone" for my staff of Obamanaughts.

I'm going to rip Mr. McAngry Pants a new asshole.

9.17.2008

Uh Oh, Someone is Out of Touch



I wonder if he's said this before? Hmm... If only there was some way, like video or something, to track this. Oh wait...

The Economy is Crumbling

Uh oh, the barbarians are at the gate and they are looking for blood.

From the WSJ:
The American financial system was shaken to its core on Sunday. Lehman Brothers Holdings Inc. filed for bankruptcy protection, and Merrill Lynch & Co. agreed to be sold to Bank of America Corp.

The U.S. government, which bailed out Fannie Mae and Freddie Mac a week ago and orchestrated the sale of Bear Stearns Cos. to J.P. Morgan Chase & Co. in March, played much tougher with Lehman. It refused to provide a financial backstop to potential buyers. Without such support, Barclays PLC and Bank of America, the two most interested buyers, walked away. Barclays said Monday it pulled out of the potential deal after deciding it wasn't in the best interest of shareholders.
Eight years of Rethuglican rule is coming apart. This is going to get uglier before it gets better.

9.08.2008

Obama on MSNBC

Don't forget to check out O tonight on Keith Olbermann's Countdown at 8 pm EST. Also, be sure to stay on the dial for Rachel Maddow's new tip. She's seriously down with O.

Yeah, I Finally Called Them Out on the Lies

Me in Flint, Michigan today. Just starting to get tired of their lying bullshit.

9.05.2008

It's Okay As Long As You Are a Republican

Jesus, is this man really the only one in the media who sees through this shit? What does that say about the state of reporting in America? It frightens the complete hell out of me, yo.

9.04.2008

Remember, This Election is Not About Issues

"This election is not about issues. This election is about a composite view of what people take away from these candidates." -Rick Davis, campaign manager for John McCain

My statement, released today, regarding the Old Party convention thus far:

You wouldn't know that this is such a critical election by watching the convention last night. I know we had our week. And the Republicans deserve theirs. But it's been amazing for me to watch over the last two nights. If you sit there, and you watch it. You're hearing a lot about John McCain, and he's got a compelling biography as a P.O.W.

You're hearing an awful lot about me. Most of which is not true.

What you're not hearing is a lot about you.

You haven't heard one word about how they're going to make the health system work - so that when a union is negotiating with a company it's not all just a discussion about higher premiums and you guys can actually start talking about higher wages and benefits.

You haven't heard one word about how we're gonna create more apprenticeship programs like the ones we have here. Or give other people a chance to train in new trades.

You haven't heard one word about getting serious about green and alternative energy. The kind of work that is resulting in all the expansion and hiring here.

You haven't heard one word about how we're going to strengthen unions so that working people get a decent stake.

You haven't heard one word about how we're going to improve math and science education so that we can hire more engineers to create more products in green technology.

You haven't heard one word about how we're going to deal with any aspect of the economy that is affecting you and your pocket day to day.

Haven't heard one word about it. Literally. Two nights. They have not said a word about it. They have not said a word about it. They've had a lot to say about me. But they haven't had anything to say about you.

And the thing that I'm insisting on in this election is that we can't keep playing the same political games we always play.

9.03.2008

Republican Peggy Noonan: It's Over!

Sweet Mary, mother of God, this Palin woman is the gift that just keeps on giving. I saw this on DailyKos and HuffPost, so I have to give both shout outs for posting this first.

Want to hear what powerful and respected conservative shills really think of McCain's Palin Problem? Here ya go:



Open mics are a bitch, just ask Jess. In case you can't hear them well here is a transcript:

Peggy Noonan: [Can't hear since Todd (who is still on air) is talking over her]
Mike Murphy: Um, you know, because, I come out of the blue swing state governor world. Engler, Whitman, Tommy Thompson, Mitt Romney, Jeb Bush, I mean, and these guys, this is all how you win a Texas race, just run it up, and it's not gonna work.
Noonan: It's Over.
Murphy: Still, McCain can give a version of the Lieberman speech and do himself some good.
Chuck Todd: Don’t you think the Palin pick was insulting to Kay Bailey Hutchinson, too (inaudible)
Noonan: I saw Kay this morning...
Todd: She's never looked comfortable up there..
Murphy: They're all bummed out.
Todd: I mean, is she really the most qualified woman they can obtain?
Noonan: The most qualified? No. I think they went for this, excuse me, political bullshit about narratives...[couldn't hear the end of it]
Todd: Yeah, but what's a narrative?
Murphy: I totally agree.
Noonan: Every time Republicans do that, because that's not where they live and it's not what they're good at, they blow it.
Murphy: You know what's the worst thing about it, the greatest of McCain is no cynicism, and..
Murphy and Todd together: This is cynical.
Todd: And as you called it, gimmicky.


Wow. Fucking. Wow. Can we call this game now? Really. I don't want to embarrass McCain any further and clearly he has some mental health care treatments to start. Beating up on an old man does give me a chubby, but thrashing a crazy old man? No fun there. Can't we at least get a standing eight count?

Hey, you wanna be Ambassador to France?

Update: Crooks and Liars also has this post. It's gone viral!! Since O isn't sure where this started I just wanted to spread the love. Asante sana, lefties for looking out for O. Much love to you and yours.

9.02.2008

RNC 2008

I was going to blog a little about the RNC in the twin cities but I can't force myself to watch it. I have a weak stomach. I know that Fred "Grampa" Thompson, Judas Lieberman, and Dum W were supposed to speak tonight. I assume the basic gist of the night will be McCain-Noun-Verb-POW and Obama will eat your kids faces.

I am recording it on Tivo though. I want to see Bristol's baby's daddy. Some self-described redneck who on his MySpace page states he doesn't want kids. Fat chance now, dweeb. Too bad you didn't have a sex ed class in Podunk High. You could have tapped that ass and still been free to cruise. Now, a shotgun wedding to a girl who was just a piece of strange.

My heart goes out to a playa.

Piling on Sarah Palin

Asante sana, Seth Grahame-Smith for the 8 Reasons Sarah Palin is More Qualified than Barack Obama article in HuffPost. Much love to you and yours for making O howl with laughter.

A short, tasty morsel of his great piece:

So let's set the record straight. Sarah Pahlen (sp?) is not only more qualified for the Oval Office than Barack Obama -- she might just be the most qualified political candidate in our nation's history:

1. Putting Country First - Her membership in the Alaska Independence Party proves that she's exactly the kind of leader America needs: the kind that will always put country first -- even if that country happens to be The Republic of Alaska. Obama claims he loves America -- but has he ever loved it enough to favor seceding from it? It's called tough love, Senator. Look into it.

Please visit HuffPost to read the entire article. Rich.

9.01.2008

Is This How McCain Makes Choices?

Yo, peeps. This Sarah Palin thing just keeps getting more and more twisted. On the real, I am thinking that the Mummy actually drew Palin's name out of a red and white striped top hat filled with five real names and one joke name to keep it interesting. Guess which one McCain drew?

Greg Sargent, of TalkingPointsMemo has a nice rundown of all the shit McCain has walked into 'cause he didn't vet 'ol girl. Please read it if you have a moment.

You can also keep an eye on Huffington Post's big Sarah Palin page. They keep it updated with the latest 411 on Sexy Sarah. The latest being that she belongs to a fringe Alaskan independence group that would like to take leave of the States.

Prayers for the Gulf Coast

Me, Misha and the girls keep everyone in the coast on our thoughts and prayers.

8.31.2008

Sarah Palin: Cowardice or Insensitivity

Republican Vice Presidential Nominee Sarah Palin laughs as cancer survivor Senator Lyda Green of the Alaska State Senate is called a "bitch" and a "cancer" on "The Bob and Mark Show", a radio show on KWHL in Alaska. Palin was very aware of fellow Republican Green's battle with cancer.



If she can't stand up to radio talk show hosts how can she be expected to stand up to Mahmoud Ahmadinejad?

8.30.2008

Scrubbing Sarah Palin

I am not certain how much vetting of Gov. Palin took place before the announcement that the Mummy selected her as his running mate, but it seems like a lot of clean up is taking place now. I wrote earlier about how a press release from her office praising my energy plan has vanished from her site. Now comes word that a video is missing that was previously there.

This one.


Yes, that is disgraced and indicted lawmaker Sen. Ted Stevens endorsing Sexy Sarah. 

There is also the Troopergate issue hanging over her head back home. Related to this she hired a know sexual harasser to replace the guy she fired for not doing her wet work. I am not going to even get into the question of whether her last child is actually hers or that of her 16 year old daughter as is being whispered on the inter-tubes. And she, or someone in her family, allegedly scrubbed her wikipedia entry to make it sound more positive and palatable to the wingnuts.

Republicans should be more than a little nervous about this pick blowing up in their faces.

Welcome to the bigs, Sarah Palin.

8.29.2008

Obama: The Movie

O wanted to post this in case y'all missed it last night. This flik was done, I was told, by both Spielberg and Scorsese and was written by Paul Haggis and George Lucas. If you look closely you can spot cameos of Denzel, Pacino and Kira Knightly. It is a sweeping post-modern epic. Enjoy, young ones. My eyes make water when I see a thing of this beauty.



Make sure all of your friends and family see this. Make it viral, Obamabots.

Because Experience Counts

With the sad passing of John McCain's 'lack of experience' argument, of complications related to the selection of Sexy Sarah today, I wanted to share with you another time and place when experience was the buzzword of the day. Enjoy.

Sarah Loves Obama('s Energy Plan)

Seems that Sexy Sarah loved my energy plan earlier this month, but strangely it has disappeared from her website. Asante sana, DailyKos, for searching the inter-tubes for a cached version of her statement.

Love you too, Sarah.

Gov. Sarah Palin of Alaska? WTF?

Can you say Hail Mary? McCain really thinks he can peel off female voters with a anti-choice candidate who has less experience than I do? LOL Are you kidding me? He just forfeited every critique he had against me. Given his age, happy 72nd birthday nitwit, he just placed a first term Governor with 2 years experience a heartbeat from the presidency.

By the way, a couple of other things about Gov. Palin: she is hot as hell (look at her in those hot, 'come hither' English teacher glasses, damn) and; she is currently under ethics investigation in Alaska. Nice pick, McCain!

Last Night in Denver: The One

8.28.2008

Thy Name is Petty

This is a picture of George W. Bush at the 2004 RNC convention accepting his party's nomination. Please note the Greek Revival columns and raised platform.

Now, empty-headed Rethuglican parrots, shut the fuck up.

Third Night in Denver

Dig if you will the third night of Democrats setting the stage for The One to blow it all away tonight at Mile High Field. Wednesday was a really busy night but if you stuck in there you heard some really powerful rap.

First up, Hill, being a completely class act, moves my nomination to acclamation.



Goose-fucking-bumps! She even brings a tear to my perpetually dry eyes. She is a political animal... and she's on my side. Hmm. Fuck you, McCain.

Then it was The Slick One's turn and he performed only like Big Bill Clinton can. Amazing. I'm not worthy! I study at the feet of the oratorical master. Oh, and did you dig the love the crowd was laying on Mr. Two Term? Nice.



And then came Joe. Dude... he is going to kick Mitten's Sexy Sarah's ass in the debates. He is a blue collar rock star.



And now... tonight... finally... O.

8.27.2008

Poles, Pols and Polls

Calm yourselves, young ones. The recent polls being bandied about are not a concern to us. They are national polls and we don't elect presidents nationally in this country. We elect them state by state. And in that measure we are doing fine.

We don't usually let Pluff out of the little dark closet we keep him in but to allay your fears and concerns we allowed him to speak... to other people... about our thinking. Here, read this and find your calm place.

Lettuce Show You Something About McCain

The American worker is so lazy they wouldn't even pick lettuce for $50 per hour, according to John McCain. Really? And people are going to vote for this idiot. Out. Of. Fucking. Touch.



Update: A link to, DailyKos contributor, PaulVA's story. Asante sana, PaulVA for showing us just how much McCain respects the American worker. Much love to you and yours.

I Don't Think We're in 2004 Anymore, Toto

Did y'all check out Montana Governor Brian Schweitzer’s speech last night? I lost my bearings momentarily and thought we were suddenly at a BDSM conference 'cause my boi spanked the shit out of McCain.

Now you know why he was on my short list. If you missed it, you can check it out here.

Second Night in Denver

Wow... just wow. Hill was in rare form, yo. She was electrifying. I have no beef with that speech... at all. She did exactly what she said she would do and I gotta respect 'ol girl for that. Plus, she was rocking that orange pantsuit, right? What can I say? O loves him some thickness.

8.26.2008

Making a Killing in Denver

You might have heard that some white supremacists outside of Denver were plotting to kill The One

Knowing this, I am reminded of this exchange in the movie V for Vendetta:
Creedy: Die! Die! Why won't you die?... Why won't you die?
V: Beneath this mask there is more than flesh. Beneath this mask there is an idea, Mr. Creedy, and ideas are bulletproof.
Keep that in mind, nutjobs and halfwits. Ideas are bulletproof.

O, Out.

Logic Takes a Holiday from Denver

O enjoys a little mirth. He laughs. He sometimes chuckles. But this... oh my, this makes O guffaw.

This madhatter is off the fucking chain! Even Chris Matthews was about to punch this scary cross-dresser in the forehead. I love the look he gives her when she first starts spouting her Muslim nonsense. And the 'cleaning out his ears' retort? Real mature, scarecrow.


First Night in Denver

Bad ass first night, yo! O is stoked! Teddy K was fucking amazing and Misha rocked this shit.



It only gets better, young ones. Wait 'til Hill takes the stage. Won't be a dry eye or resting heart in the joint.

Update: Added Micha's intro video below for those who missed it.

8.23.2008

VP Pick

Yeah... you heard right, biatches! It's Biden. Dig on that for a moment.

8.22.2008

Fair and Balanced, Like Hell

My dawgz over at 236.com have assembled this hilarious one minute review of FakeNews Channel's recent documentary of me. I laughed so hard my face effen' hurt and I actually drooled all over my VP applications.

Update: Posting video here for your viewing pleasure:

McCain is Out of Touch: The New Narrative

Oh snap! This shit is the gift that keeps on giving, young ones.



God bless you, John Sidney McCain III. You filthy rich, nutty, out of touch, loony bastard.

McCain Continues to Lie About My Tax Plan

McCain: My friends, Senator Obama will raise the taxes on you folks in the middle class until your nipples bleed and you submit both your will and your children's souls to his false god Allah.

O: Suck my ass, you old senile war-whore!

Washington Post: Shut your lying pie hole, Sen. McCain.

Meet John "House Keys" McCain, Average American

This is like manna from heaven...


8.21.2008

Net Worth Death Match: Obama vs. McCain

This just seems so much more relevant in light of current events, yes?

It seems that earlier this year a non-partisan group called the Sunlight Foundation completed an analysis of all 535 members of congress and dimed out the following 411:

As Mark Nickolas, of PoliticalBase.com, writes:
One of the clumsy arguments that the McCain camp tried to make today in hopes of slowing down the media freight train over not knowing how many homes he and his wife, Cindy, own was that Barack Obama (D) is also a rich guy who lives in a mansion himself, just like McCain. I believe the term they used was "a frickin' mansion."
Well, there's just one problem with that argument. These guys aren't even in the same class.
Asante sana, Mark for brutally shoving what should be the last stake in the heart of the Old Party narrative that O is an out of touch elitist. Much love to you and yours.

8.15.2008

Hannity Has a Man Crush on McCain

Oh, snap! Asante sana, Alan Colmes. Much love to you and yours for taking Yawn Hannity to task for being a fat-faced partisan dick head who simply hates Democrats and has no interest in examining the character of the people he likes.



As if being a POW makes any difference in this conversation. What an ignorant fuck!

Barack's Holiday Adventure

Greetings, O Nation.  Well, after a well-deserved holiday I am about to climb back in the game. I feel relaxed, refreshed and focused on opening a huge can of whoop-ass on the Mummy.

First official bit on the schedule is Saturday's jawboning with Pastor Rick Warren. That'll be nice. I get to talk to some fish folks who ain't hate'n on a brutha. 

By the way, did you know that the Christian PAC, Matthew 25 Network, has just released its first ad on my behalf? Hella cool. It will play during the chat with R-Dub at his Saddleback Church.

You can check it out below.


Dawgs... there is nowhere for the Old Party to hide this election cycle. I am coming at them from everywhere.

8.12.2008

Hot Chicks Dig Obama

I know I'm still on holiday but... the LA Times has an article about the Mummy's latest attempt at making himself a completely irrelevant laughing stock. The stunt in question is yet another ad about my celebrity status. This one is called Hot Chicks Dig Obama. LOL Really. I'm not making this up, yo.

From the Times:
Most controversially, the spot features one young woman complimenting Obama's "aura," and a second young woman singling out his "very soft eyes" for praise. And then there's a fellow saying of the 47-year-old U.S. senator and father of two who defied long odds to emerge as one of the two main contenders for the most powerful office in the world: "Hot chicks dig Obama."
I love this shit. Honestly. We are now firmly ensconced in a bizarro world of school-boy penis envy by a seriously disturbed old man running for the most powerful office on earth. Someone who cares about your Very Serious Problems so much that he spends his time and your money on joke and humor ads. Isn't there a recession going on somewhere? I forget.

Dude, this shit is off the hook! Next will come stinging insults about how my penis is only 10" long, or that my IQ is only 160, or that I only have two Grammy awards. Ouch! ROTFL!! How ridiculous can this tiny little man get? He is now like the guy who told a joke that everyone laughed at and now he can't stop himself from retelling the same joke hoping that people still like him enough to laugh again... and again... and again. Crazy, right?

Envy much? Much too much.

Suck it Crusty the Clown

I am still chill'n in Hawai'i and loving hanging with the family but I got to thinking about this whole "Obama is a celebrity" shit that has been going down for a bit now. The liberal press has been eating this spoon-fed bullshit for a bit now but I know you folks ain't feel'n this shit.

So I pick up my iPhone and I am checking out Internet Movie Database (IMDB) and see this bullshit. And I'm the celebrity?

So I had Axe make this...



Suck on this John Sidney McCain III, you lying fart.

8.11.2008

Attack of the Attack Attacks

"Everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but they are not entitled to their own facts." - Daniel Patrick Moynihan



Dirty, stinking liars. Remember when The Mummy was a principled man?

Still on Vacation

Yo, boyz... O is still on holiday and digging the chill'n.

I heard that someone invaded Georgia. Ain't that a bitch? I told Axe to let me know when they reach Atlanta.

O, out.

Disabled Veterans Convention Speech

I was unable to attend this convention but I made damn sure I was showing love for the vets. O loves him some vets. My grandfather fought with Patton in WWII.

Check out the message I sent along for my warrior peeps.

8.08.2008

John Edwards Admits Mistake

Nah, dawg!? O's heart goes out to a brutha. May you and your family use these next few days to heal. Read the release here. Damn.

Pre-Vacation Fun

O digs this image, hard. It makes me giggle when I'm sad.

Please enjoy, young ones.

8.07.2008

Mavericky Maverickness

People O Hates: Hannity

Sean "Yawn" Hannity is a fat-faced, dirty fuck who has been a well-known and reliable sympathizer of white supremacy causes on his show and who now has the nuts to say that I can't point to one incident of the Rethuglicans making an issue of my race. WTF!??

You're right stupid, dirty liar... I can point to many. My homies over at Media Matters for America got my back.

Asante sana, MMFA. Much love to you and yours for shoving your research weenie in Sean Hannity's chubby face. Gobble up, Hannity.

UPDATE: Yawn is the gift that keeps on giving. Check out this additional example.

They Report, They Decide


Do I really even need to say it?

8.06.2008

Good and Pawlenty

Ouch. As reported by Frederic Frommer at Huffpost:

Minnesota Gov. Tim Pawlenty, often mentioned as a possible running mate for Republican presidential candidate John McCain, said Wednesday GOP candidates would do well to adopt a positive tone like that of McCain's Democratic rival Barack Obama.

"Say what you will about Barack Obama," the Minnesota Republican told a conservative group, "people gravitate when you have something positive to say." He added that McCain has been positive as well.

"People want to follow hopeful, optimistic, civil, decent leaders," Pawlenty said in a speech to GOPAC, which helps recruit Republican candidates. "They don't want to follow some negative, scornful person."

Negative and scornful? Pretty much just like McCain, in his desperation to be Prezo, has allowed his pathetic self to become. Now there's some straight talk for your ass.

Word, Tim Pawlenty. We hardly got to know you.

Excuse Me, Your Narrative is Showing

Pssssst.... contrary to the liberal media's narrative, designed to keep you turning to their newscasts, I am still kicking the Mummy's short, wrinked, white ass in the only poll that counts: the electoral college.

Spanking that ass, baby.

8.04.2008

Happy Birthday to Me

Yes, sweet ones, it is O's birthday today. Sing happy birthday to me when you get a moment.

8.02.2008

Does This Say More About McCain Than Me?

I might have to get a restraining order against the Mummy 'cause this childish muthafucker is obsessed with O. This is completely off the fucking chain weird


I don't even know how to respond to that level of craziness. Wow. I'm speechless.

8.01.2008

1968 All Over Again

Just between you and me... I don't think John McCain is a racist... he is just hoping you are. There, I said it. Fuck him.

7.31.2008

The Presumptous Presumptive Candidate

Yawn. The "arrogant uppity negro who doesn't know his place" narrative continues from the Old Party. But this time a Democrat with fucking balls is finally present to handle O's business. My shorty, Rachel Maddow, was on the scene to smack the shit out of Pat Pukeanan, who I believe suffers from a small vessel rupture towards the end of the discussion.



By the way, a couple of things: 1) How is it possible that Harold Ford, Jr is less Black than I am? Damn, sell-out centrist Blue Dog bastard; and 2) Rachel Maddow is some serious hotness. She makes my loins tingle. In my alone time I do so wish that either she was straight or I was a Lesbian. Either would be fine with me. Really.

Asante sana, Rachel for standing up to old angry white bullies for O. Much love to you and yours. Really. Much love.

For Drunks, Racists, Illiterates and Other Republicans

Empty suit? Really? O looks hella fine in a good suit. I mean, I know I am power player thin... but empty? And my post-racial skin tone goes well with as many of the earth tone hues as with the traditional power suit dark varieties.

I am sick and tired of hearing the meme from the white-wing of the Old Party that I am an empty suit. Fuck you, you jealous half-wits!

I graduated near the top of my class at Harvard. Have you heard of that little school? A couple of notches above DeVry, I hear. Anypop, I am fucking smart. No. Scratch that. I am fucking brilliant. I have accomplished much in my amazingly interesting and captivating life and I am starting to get a little pissy that you dirty fucks are hating on O like this.

In case you are truly interested in checking that bullshit at the door here is a list of things I've accomplished in just a couple of years in the Senate. Now... suck that bitches.

O, out!

Is McCain Stupid? Is That Rhetorical?

Yes. Fucking yes. A million times, yes.

I certainly think he's a foul-mouthed, ill-tempered, crass jackass. And a writer from the WSJ does too. I don't know this cat's game but this was a thoughtful, unbiased piece from a media source that one should know consistently harshes O's vibe.

The money shot:
Is John McCain losing it?

On Sunday, he said on national television that to solve Social Security "everything's on the table," which of course means raising payroll taxes. On July 7 in Denver he said: "Senator Obama will raise your taxes. I won't."

This isn't a flip-flop. It's a sex-change operation
Sweet ones, when I read shit like this and I realize that with each word I am getting that much closer to the Oval Joint... it makes my nipples hard. I have to admit it. Sorry.

7.29.2008

McCain's Commander In Chief Test

Oh, sweet Jesus! I literally shat myself watching this. Man, oh man. This goon is making this easier than snorting a line of coke from between your hot, young high school drama teacher's supple breasts while backstage during your senior year production of Hair... I've heard.



7.28.2008

Back and Doing Well

Yo, Obamanauts!

O is back in the states and glad to be back. I would have written you but as you know I was visiting a bunch of countries without electricity... or at least that's what Moneypenny told me.

I am getting back into the swing of things now and plan to write a summary of some of the things that transpired over the past week. Much was poppin' and I would be remiss not to comment on it. Things like the Mummy adopting my timeline for redeployment, mixing up the placement of middle east nations, forgetting that we fought a war in Afghanistan, etc.

The dude is a fucking lunatic and the preening press is still licking his sack and giving him a slide on his senior moments.

Expect a post on this madness tomorrow. For now I'm about to slide up on Misha for a little ooh la la. It's been a long trip.

7.15.2008

The Mummy Flips... Again.

Smoke and Mirrors

"It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to heaven, we were all going direct the other way - in short, the period was so far like the present period, that some of its noisiest authorities insisted on its being received, for good or for evil, in the superlative degree of comparison only." ~ Charles Dickens, A Tale of Two Cities.

Not since Dickens has there been this much flippin' confusion and contradiction about the economy . It would be laughable if it weren't so serious for hard-working Americans.

Asante sana, HuffPost for reminding us that Bush still doesn't know his asshole from his mouth. Much love to you and yours. Good thing this is all in our heads.

7.14.2008

Head Tripping

Man, good thing this fucked up economy is all in our heads. Otherwise we might have to start worrying about our loot vanishing from banks everywhere.

Good thing, huh?

Tasteless Partisan Hit Job

O Nation, this is what they plan for us over the next months.

They call this satire. Me dressed in traditional Arab garb and Misha wearing camo and looking smart with a 'fro and a Kalashnikov strapped to her back.

Note that we are standing in the Oval Joint where a U.S. flag is burning in the fireplace and a pic of Osama bin Laden looming large over the same fireplace.

Hilarious, huh?

I wonder if the person who green-lit this cover works for the Republican National Committee or just wants to.

Be strong, young ones. This is going to get nastier before it is all over.

7.13.2008

Speechless

Wow. This even makes me squirm. There goes that ambassadorship to Luxembourg, stupid ass. Watch and enjoy, Obamabots.

7.12.2008

Obama: The Anti-Christ?

When I am between gigs on the road I pull out my iPhone and surf the net looking for stories about me. Since I am the most interesting thing happening in the United States right now who can blame me, right?

Anyhoo, I am drinking a Tab and I come across a site that is simply breathtaking in its insanity. By the way, just so you know, Tab doesn't lose any of its fizz when passed through your nose. Yep, still fizzy... and uncomfortable.

The site is called BarackObamaAntiChrist, and purports to pull back the curtain on my evil, secret, devilish plans for all of humanity. What it does accomplish is pulling back the curtain on what is clearly the deeply bizarre religious paranoia of the writer.
"Barack Obama may be the Antichrist, he has risen up out of no where, he mesmerizes crowds, people are gathering in huge numbers, he is likely becoming the next President of the United States. Do not look only to what I say, but look to your Bibles, to passages in John, Daniel, and Revelations."
Wow. That's it? People like me? They think I might bring honor and rule of law back to the country after 7 years of totalitarian fuck-up? Well, according to the author, its all that stuff and some fairly liberal application of passages from a book translated from two or three ancient languages that also indicates it's fine to own slaves, take possession of the wife of your dead brother, and stone people who work on the sabbath. A rather fine guide for civilized behavior, if you ask me.

Another reason that stands out as evidence O is the Anti-Christ is that I once reached into my pants pocket at a campaign stop and pulled out a pocket full of good luck charms and shit. Among them was a golden Hindu monkey charm. A fucking monkey charm. Hindu. Dude, I didn't even know whose pants those were. I sometimes have no idea what I am wearing or where it came from. They seemed to fit me.

I am almost certain that the level of crazy exhibited by the author of this site can only be attained by sitting for hours in your own feces and smacking your genitalia with a ping-pong paddle while masturbating into a rubber glove to reruns of Match Game on the Game Show Network. It also helps if you were breast fed until your senior year of high school. I just hope this person is under the direct care of a doctor. Any fucking doctor.

During this campaign I have found that people will exercise astonishing mental gymnastics to justify their own racist or partisan political/religious viewpoints. You don't have to like O, there are plenty of valid reasons not to, but it is pathetic to be so small that you need others to feel the same way to validate your position.

7.10.2008

Baby Mama Drama

Here's some straight talk for you shortyz considering supporting the Mummy 'cause you think the Dems were hard on Hillary.



So, in the paternalistic and sexist Mummy's worldview a man being functionally able to make babies is more important than a woman deciding when they might want to have a baby.

Asshats.

Jess and Me: Update

Jess says he wants to cut off my nuts and FauxNews is falling all over themselves broadcasting this "scoop" to white America.

O is loving this. Bloomberg gets it.

Asante sana, FauxNews for making O appear more moderate to the one group that wasn't completely vibe'n with him yet. Much love to you and yours for getting me that much closer to la Casa Blanca.

7.09.2008

The Press Sucks McCain Off When You Aren't Looking

The so-called liberal press has still got its lips firmly attached to the Mummy's sweaty, wrinkled sack (an image that will keep O wide awake tonight) and are still busy pushing the Old Party narrative that I am "moving to the center." His campaign doesn't need an ad budget with these punk ass lapdogs carrying his water for him.

Okay, O will try to 'splain this one more time. I am not tracking to the middle. I did not say I was changing my position on bringing the troops home. I have always said that I would listen to military leaders on how to bring them home... but the buck stop in the Oval Joint. They start coming come home when I take office. Period.

I also did not say I would filibuster the FISA bill. What I said was this, as reported by my spox:
"To be clear: Barack will support a filibuster of any bill that includes retroactive immunity for telecommunications companies."
Did you hear about a filibuster being successfully mounted? No, you didn't. There wasn't the votes for it. So I voted to strip telecom immunity from the bill three times, and when that failed I voted for an imperfect bill that does give Dum W what he wants. This is not a flip-flop. It is pragmatism.
"Given the choice between voting for an improved yet imperfect bill, and losing important surveillance tools, Senator Obama chose to support"
Shit, folks, it isn't like I can veto the bill. I ain't the Prezo yet. Pump your brakes and get a grip. In a few months all of these expanded powers that Dum W and Dick Vader have carved out for themselves will be in far saner hands. Right now, I just don't need your shit.

So please stop all of this "Obama is turning his back on the left and tacking to the center" bullshit. You would know that if you hadn't first bought into the narrative that I was the most liberal senator in the Senate. Is it just a coincidence that the Sen. Kerry was also the most liberal senator when he was running too? Hmm.

If you look at Progressive scorecards I end up closer to the middle than most people think, which is why I stated that anyone who thinks I am moving to the center hasn't been paying attention. I am liberal on some issues (most) and far more moderate on others. You can see it yourself.

Now, go out and educate a so-called journalist. First, though, you'll need to pry their faces out of the Mummy's moist, stinky jockstrap.

O, out.

Jess and Me

So, Jesse Jackson said some foul shit about O during an interview with FauxNews. I am certain that it is a complete accident that FauxNews left the microphone hot after the interview. A complete accident. Right. No searching for dirt here, folks.

Anypop, Jess said that I talk down to Black people. Silly, man. I talk down to everyone. I am not just picking on Black folks. You'd think that people would've pick up on that by now. I graduated from Harvard. Fucking Harvard, dawg.

I know that Jess is, like, mad jealous anyway so I ain't sweatin' it. In fact since FauxNews won't be able to help themselves by running the clip over and over and over and over... to buttress the Rovehole talking point that I am "cooly arrogant," they will also do something else for me unintentionally.

By showing white Americans that Jess, their favorite brotha to hate, in fact hates me... it will go a long way in contrasting me as more moderate, reasonable and palatable than before this accidental incident.

One would be excused for thinking that all of this might have been planned by O and the Two Davids long before this day. Completely excused. Heh heh...

7.07.2008

Shock and Awe

At last I can confirm that I will be giving my convention acceptance speech at Invesco Field in Denver. This has been long in planning, young ones. I am glad I can share this thrilling news with you now.

Imagine the difference people will see (and the message it sends) when they sleep through the Mummy giving his speech in front of 20,000 old white people in a Minnesota arena that will look a lot like the old man staring out blankly at a still and quiet snow covering, contrasted with experiencing O's oratorical brilliance in front of a throbbing, swaying, electric sea of diversity some 76,000 folks strong. Oh, joy!

The fact that O's speech will take place on the 45th anniversary of MLK's "I Have a Dream" speech is hardly a coincidence. O is going to rock this shit.

Something else for the Old Party to fret about.

7.06.2008

Doesn't Film Suck?

Pssst... Obamabots, pass this link around to friends and family.

John McCain's YouTube Problem, by Robert Greenwald's BraveNew Films



You can also shoot your peeps a link from the site, The Real John McCain.

Feel free to embed these bomb-ass little jewels everywhere. That's how we can get our message past the so-called liberal media to the people of this great nation. Make it viral, baby.

The revolution will be streamed.

Attacks from Everywhere

You see, Obama Nation, this is why I opted out of public financing system.



And I love that the Old Party ends the commercial with the awful, stinging, dreadful, accusation that I vote 97% of the time with the party that most Americans trust on just about every issue facing the country this cycle. LOL! I'll take that.

Inept assclowns. One has to wonder if they are trying to lose in November.

7.04.2008

Flops, Wilson, Out and Pancakes

Can you believe this shit? Really? The fucking Mummy, the undisputed King-fucking-Kong of flipping and floppy, is trying to call O out for allegedly flip-flopping on exiting troops out of Iraq.

Give me a flippin' break!

All you Obamabots know he is just trying to make shit where shit ain't but it just chaps my ass to see this frontin assclown being assisted by the liberal press in pushing this bullshit.

This is the quote that makes O pass milk through his nose though:
Earlier this week, McCain said, "I don't switch my position depending on what audience or what time it is in the electoral calendar. ... I believe that [voters] will more and more see where Sen. Obama has switched his positions on fundamental issues. The one thing they want is trust and confidence in their leadership, and I think I will win in that area."
Can I call bullshit on that one? Just in case you need to be reminded of just how many times the Mummy has switched his positions check out this site that actually tracks his many flips. Or this one. At this rate I just hope the authors of these sites have cleared their schedules for the next few months. It is going to be a long, hot, lying summer.

Happy Birthday, America!

Happy Independence Day, fellow Americans. Consider this image a visual treat from Imaginary Obama, Superpatriot! Asante sana, citizens. Much love to you and yours for making my story uniquely American.

7.01.2008

O and Patriotism

I gave a nice, some would say spectacular, speech on patriotism in Independence, MO. Actually it was fucking amazing, if I may say so myself.

Anypop, I love my country but there are still those who don't believe me. Many of these folks are authoritarian nationalists so my mere authentic patriotism would never measure up to their perverse standards.

You should check out the dawgs at The Huffington Post. Asante sana, Larisa, for calling these fascists out. Much love to you and yours.

Wes, In the Hizzouse

I've been a little busy lately so I haven't been blogging as much as I like but I gotta give some major snaps to my boy, Wes Clark for calling the Mummy out on his bullshit fronting of his POW experience. Now, I'm not saying -- and neither is Wes -- that the Mummy's service isn't something to be valued and respected (that's the general disclaimer Axe says I need to keep pushing right before I smack the shit out of him for something).

What Wes was saying was just 'cause the careless motherfucker gets in a plane and gets shot down doesn't automatically make him qualified to be Commander and Chief. I happen to agree him. It is like the guy who gets in a car accident and thinks that experience qualifies him to be CEO of the car company.

And now the wingnuts are throwing a tizzy.

Ridiculous assclowns.

6.26.2008

Smarty Pants Black Man

You remember Karl Rove, or Rovehole as I like to call him, right? He is the genius who right-wingers laughingly refer to as the architect. That's rich given that the Supremes handed Dum W the 2000 election and then the Swifters and homophobia won in 2004. The guy hasn't done a damn thing except to be at the right place at the right time.

My favorite recollection of Rovehole is when he claimed that the GOP wouldn't lose seats in the 2006 midterms, even though all of the numbers everyone else was running indicated otherwise. His response to a question challenging his over-confident assertions was that while the interviewer had access to some math, Rovehole claimed he had access to "THE math." We know how that turned out for the architect. Stupid piece of shit.

Anypop, Rovehole gave a pep talk to some of the downtrodden white-wingers in Congress and finalized the main talking points against me for this election year. He tells them that he finds me "cooly arrogant." That's the refrain you'll hear from all of the Republitrons from now to November.

This, of course, is coded historical messaging. What he means is that O is an uppity nigger. This resonates with angry, small-minded, white ultra-conservatives. The Urban Dictionary defines uppity nigger as "An out of place black person who is out of line and thinks they are as good as or better than the white person they are standing next to." Rosa Parks was called uppity. As were Martin and Malcolm.

You see it isn't just that O is a Democrat or that O is Black. It comes down to him being an uppity nigger who doesn't know his place and has the nuts to think he is as good or better than a white person. If I were a white candidate I would be called confident, strong or smart. It would all be considered the exhibition of leadership qualities. Since I am Black... I am arrogant. Cooly arrogant.

This won't play with Independents, but they'll try. Rovehole is a fat fucking racist rube.

The Price of Peace

Today I wrote a personal check for $2,300 to Hill. My girl Moneypenny and her husband wrote one too. This is to help her with her campaign debt. It isn't that the money bothers me but this is money, after all, she blew trying to beat me. This was money she didn't have. She knew it when she spent it. She was so focused on short term gain that she didn't think about this moment. That is foolish and risky behavior.

And yet her supporters still think she is more qualified to be Prezo than I am. Interesting, right? Yawn.

Activist Judges

The Supremes just ruled that the right to bear arms is an individual right not to be confused with what the actual amendment actually states.

For those unaware of the exact phrasing of the Second Amendment:
“A well regulated Militia, being necessary to the security of a free State, the right of the people to keep and bear Arms shall not be infringed.”
The majority's asinine and activist ruling:
“The Second Amendment protects an individual right to possess a firearm unconnected with service in a militia, and to use that arm for traditionally lawful purposes, such as self-defense within the home.”
Unconnected with service in a militia? WTF? Yeah, let's just throw out the words we don't like or that stand to confuse a simple populace or that stand in the way of some twitchy, sweaty fuck in Idaho owning as many guns as Norway.

If one takes the time to read the Federalist Papers, written by Alexander Hamilton, James Madison and John Jay as a defense of the U.S. Constitution in the run up to its ratification, you'll find that the word militia occurs nine (9) times. Each of those times it is in the context of a National Guard or citizen force.

I am sure we won't hear screams of anguish from the right about justices reading into the Constitution interpretations that comport with their prevailing political beliefs on this one.

One more example of the fucking hypocritical right. God, O needs to be Prezo now. This is getting out of hand.

6.25.2008

Let's Get Ready to Rumble!

I'm sure you've heard about the latest beef that one of the Dark Ones has started with O. Dr. James Dobson, from some Christian organization called 'Fuck Over the Familes,' just realized he has a problem with a speech I gave two years ago. Evidently news from the real world doesn't reach Dr. Dobson until much later than it reaches the rest of us. When you meet him be careful not to mention that the Soviet Union broke up. He is pen pals with Stalin.

Anypop, he didn't like that I pointed out the obvious in that you can't base public policy on biblical passages. Not that you can't have moral beliefs that are anchored in religion that then inform your politics. O's religion informs his politics. I would reserve nothing less for the rest of the O Nation.

Here is what I said: "Democracy demands that the religiously motivated translate their concerns into universal rather than religion-specific values. It requires their proposals be subject to argument and amenable to reason."

Here is what the Time-challenged Dark One heard: "What the senator is saying there, in essence, is that 'I can't seek to pass legislation, for example, that bans partial-birth abortion, because there are people in the culture who don't see that as a moral issue, and if I can't get everyone to agree with me, than it is undemocratic to try to pass legislation that I find offensive to the Scripture. Now, that is a fruitcake interpretation of the Constitution."

God, I love that level of insanity. It is so pure, so clean, so complete. It is simply breathtaking in its absurdity.

No prob, my boy Jim Wallis has got O's back, big time. Let it fly, Jay Dub:
First, Dobson and Minnery's language is simply inappropriate for religious leaders to use in an already divisive political environment. We can agree or disagree on both biblical and political viewpoints, but our language should be respectful and civil, not attacking motives and beliefs.
Blam!

Contrary to Dobson's charge, Obama was very strong in defending the right and necessity of people of faith bringing their moral agenda to the public square, and was specifically critical of many on the left and in his own Democratic Party for being uncomfortable with religion in politics.

Obama said that religion is and has always been a fundamental and absolutely essential source of morality for the nation, but also said that "religion has no monopoly on morality," which is a point that I often make. The United States is not the Christian theocracy that people like James Dobson seem to think it should be. Political appeals, even if rooted in religious convictions, must be argued on moral grounds rather than as sectarian religious demands--so that the people (citizens), whether religious or not, may have the capacity to hear and respond. Religious convictions must be translated into moral arguments, which must win the political debate if they are to be implemented. Religious people don't get to win just because they are religious. They, like any other citizens, have to convince their fellow citizens that what they propose is best for the common good-- for all of us and not just for the religious.

Kaboom ! That sound you just heard, Obamabots, was a literary nuclear explosion. Asante sana, Jim. Much love to you and yours.

6.22.2008

A Skankicon Making Lemonade

O Nation, I have written about the so-called liberal mainstream press doing the work of their corporate masters by turning every story about the election into a Wonderland version of reality where up is down and in is out. Here is yet another hilarious example of this desperate and childish behavior.

Some skankicon named Salena Zito, who is solely responsible for the fantastic choices in her life that led to her working at the renowned Pittsburgh Tribune-Review, sees nothing but good news for the Mummy in the latest Newsweek poll that has me opening up a lead on him.

In a post titled "Shades of Dukakis, Obama Up 15," Zito uses the crystal ball she has (I wonder where this ball was on Sept. 10, 2001?) to let you know that a lead, especially a big lead, is a sure sign of future political Apocalypse. Says she:
"In May of 1988 after all of the Democratic primaries ended presumptive nominee Michael Dukakis enjoyed a 54 to 38 percent lead over then Ronald Reagan wing man George H.W. Bush.

H.W. went on to win in that November handily

This evening a new Newsweek poll shows Obama having a giant lead, from 51 percent to 36 percent, over McCain among registered voters across the country.

Obama got his bounce, Dukakis style."

By the way, who the fuck still uses the term "wing man?" That is so fucking 80s, which explains where Ms Zito's head is, when it isn't firmly planted in what I can only assume is her large and misshaped NeoCon ass.

Yet one more ignorant fuck trying to wring lemonade out of the mountains of fucking lemons I'm about to peel off for the NeoCon pricks who have screwed up this country to the point it is in now.

Yes, Ms Zito, I am shaking in my boots. I was hoping to be behind in every poll taken between now and the election. That's the safest place to be in an election... behind.

Jeez... what a stupid fuck.

6.20.2008

Angry Black Woman

My brotha in struggle and Lead Obamavangelist 'T' from the very smart progressive blog, The Republic of T, has a sweet ass smack-down of the Angry Black Woman narrative currently dominating the conservative, and now mainstream, media cycles about Misha.

A tasty tidbit:

"I’ve notice something. No one seems to seems to question whether the angry white men that swept Newt Gingrich and the Republican majority into power in 1994 were justified in their anger. It’ assumed that whatever they’re angry about they have a right to be angry about."

"But not so for the so called 'angry black women.' Their anger is somehow less 'real' and less justified. Perhaps that that’s because being angry is a privilege in this culture. Anger, if you are a minority, is dangerous. If you are a woman, or a person of color, gay, etc., your movements must be calm, your voice must be modulated, and your anger must ever show."

Do yourself a solid, Obamabots, jet over to T's and read the complete essay. It is a mind-opening piece of work. I would expect nothing less of this brotha.

Asante sana, Terrance, for coming to the defense of Misha. Much love to you and yours.

6.19.2008

Of Norris, Tebow and Obama

Asante sana, to Christopher Beam of Salon for giving O the Tim Tebow/Chuck Norris treatment. This list made O laugh until he wet himself. Much love to you and yours, Christopher.

Barack Obama says the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE every time he sees an American flag. He also ends every sentence by saying, "WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL." Click here for video of Obama quietly mouthing the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE in his sleep.

A tape exists of Michelle Obama saying the PLEDGE OF ALLEGIANCE at a conference on PATRIOTISM.

Every weekend, Barack and Michelle take their daughters HUNTING.

Barack Obama wears a FLAG PIN at all times. Even in the shower.

Barack Obama is a PATRIOTIC AMERICAN. He has one HAND over his HEART at all times. He occasionally switches when one arm gets tired, which is almost never because he is STRONG.

Barack Obama has the DECLARATION OF INDEPENDENCE tattooed on his stomach. It's upside-down, so he can read it while doing sit-ups.

There's only one artist on Barack Obama's iPod: FRANCIS SCOTT KEY.

Barack Obama is a DEVOUT CHRISTIAN. His favorite book is the BIBLE, which he has memorized. His name means HE WHO LOVES JESUS in the ancient language of Aramaic. He is PROUD that Jesus was an American.

Barack Obama goes to church every morning. He goes to church every afternoon. He goes to church every evening. He is IN CHURCH RIGHT NOW.

Barack Obama's new airplane includes a conference room, a kitchen, and a MEGACHURCH.

Barack Obama's skin is the color of AMERICAN SOIL.

Barack Obama buys AMERICAN STUFF. He owns a FORD, a BASEBALL TEAM, and a COMPUTER HE BUILT HIMSELF FROM AMERICAN PARTS. He travels mostly by FORKLIFT.

Barack Obama says that Americans cling to GUNS and RELIGION because they are AWESOME.

Obamabots, follow Christopher's suggestion and send the email on his site around to everyone in your address book who ever sent you penis enlargement emails. Unrestrained spamming and your hard work will get us to the Promised Land.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Barack Obama

The Davids (Axe and Pluff) and I are launching a new round of ads designed to introduce me to the American people. Moneypenny assures me we can run them forever.

The Mummy has been so busy running from fundraiser to fundraiser, in a futile attempt to match the bottomless money machine I like to call the O Nation, that he failed to leverage the time during which Hill and I were dusting it up to define me. Most polls show that many people just don't know me yet. They've left me a huge opening.

Well here you are future Obamamaniacs, O uncut and in his own humble words:


Sweet, right? Feel free to watch it again. I'll wait.

We are running the ads in heavy rotation in Alaska, Colorado, Florida, Georgia, Iowa, Indiana, Michigan, Missouri, Montana, Nevada, New Hampshire, New Mexico, North Carolina, North Dakota, Ohio, Pennsylvania, Wisconsin, and Virginia. When's the last time a Dem ran hard in some of those states?

You can almost smell the fear coming from the Mummy's campaign, can't you? Oh, the joy! The O Revolution will change the American political map forever. And all of this will happen because of you, my lovelies.

Asante sana, for your devotion, passion and your mad loot.

And I'm the Extremist?

This just in from Republican Illinois Rep. Mark Kirk:

"I would much rather have a policy where if we see Obama, there's a shoot-on-sight order."

Wow. If I or Misha said some nasty shit like that about McCain, or even just talked about his ancient ass suffering a heart attack, we'd be pilloried in the liberal media. And this isn't the first time one of these Bats have alluded to this sick shit.

You see, Obamabots, it isn't just us versus the Rethuglicans, it is us versus corporate-owned media that knows that a Mummy win continues the current nut-sack smooching of Wall Street types that has been occurring for the last 8 years. And a win by us, the people, means that Main Streets everywhere win.

Keep working hard, young ones. Our time is near. These weak bitches don't scare O.

6.18.2008

White Evangelicals Don't Color Between the Lines

It seems that white evangelicals will gladly sell out their brotha in faith, just proving that the takeover of white evangelical religious communities by the Rethuglicans is complete.
"A Washington Post-ABC News poll released this week found McCain collecting about 68 percent of the white evangelical vote, compared to Barack Obama's 22 percent. That number is very similar to level of support President Bush received in June 2004, when he led then Democratic nominee Sen. John Kerry 65 to 30 among white evangelicals."
The Mummy hasn't seen the inside of a Church since he escaped from his unholy crypt back in the 1930s. He is a warmonger who spits at the "Thou shalt not kill" rule when polling determines he needs to sound manly instead of compassionate. He screwed around on the wife who stayed by his side and raised his kids while he was a POW, only to finally leave her for a 26 year old heiress with a firm ass while his wife suffered through recovering from auto injuries. 

Meanwhile I, a born-again Christian who has regularly attended a Christian church for the past 20 years, get no love from the fish folks. All because the man (a former US Marine) who brought me to my Awesome God, strayed from him in his later years. At least I'd like the think that's the reason (?). I have been faithfully married to the same woman for 16 years, and by all accounts am a doting and loving father to two amazing daughters. And, after college I eschewed the big money a Harvard degree summons to go a work in underprivileged urban areas for $13k a year.

Sometimes Christians can be the worst advertisement for Christianity. Fuck 'em.

On an aside, I love this comment on the WaPo site from a reader called The Oracle, in reaction to some of the more Batshit comments about me and my faith left on the site by the frantic, sweaty masses who call themselves Christians:
"I see the Obama Haters are out in full force today......Dukes of Hazzard must be off......"
Asante sana, Oracle, for crystalizing my thoughts so eloquently. Much love to you and yours.

6.16.2008

Enter the Godfather

(Should have been President) Al Gore endorsed me yesterday while in Michigan. I was vibe'n  pretty hard. It was hella cool to be on stage with the Inconvenient One. It was kinda nutless that he waiting until now to do this but, okay. Whatever.

Before we went out we were talking in the green room and he tells me that he has given up cars completely. So, I say "how did you get here?" He answers me with, and I shit you not, something about riding switch grass. I don't know if he's pulling my leg or not at this point but he is not smiling.

I make an excuse to leave the room and I ask Misha to tell Axe to keep the guy away from me. Weird.

Mr. McCain... Your Pants are on Fire

Do you think I am playing when I say that the Mummy is running for Dum W's third term? I am not and now I have art to prove it.


All you Mummy sycophants can hate the messenger all you want, but these are your boy's own words. What say thee, asshats?

Asante sana, BarbinMD for bringing this priceless example of Straight Talk to O's attention.